Sometimes I Just Can't Decide

Now that the month of December is nearly over, I’ve taken some time to consider the various aspects of Christmas celebration. The fact of the matter is this: I have a love/hate relationship with some parts of the month. Let’s examine, shall we?


I saw “It’s a Wonderful Life” performed by the Odyssey Dance Theater. I love the world!

In the modern version of Frank Capra’s classic tale, Pottersville features old Mrs. Bailey as a casino worker and Violet is spotlighted as a pole dancer. I hate the world.

There is Christmas music playing at all times. It is cheery and I find it acceptable to sing along in public for the month, I love the world!

FM100 plays a majority of the music heard throughout the state, and a majority of the non-stop playlists feature Amy Grant’s “Breath of Heaven,” Michael Bolton’s “Christmas Shoes,” and anything by Kenny G. I hate the world.

The Festival of Trees comes to town! There are teddy bear trees, there are BYU trees, there are many twinkling lights in a giant room, I love the world!

There are gingerbread houses made in the likeness of the “Twilight” books and University of Utah Christmas trees. I hate the world. So much.

I love the Mormon Tabernacle Choir! What a great month, they are everywhere singing everything! There are devotionals, concerts, recordings going on all of the time and my Mom is a superstar! I love the world!

Brian Stokes Mitchell thinks he is the superstar of the Christmas concert. He’s not, my Mom is. I hate the world and Brian Stokes Mitchell.

I love baking; holiday treats in particular are my favorite. Stores sell pretty colored candies, chocolate is dirt cheap, seasonal sales abound. I love the world!

After anonymously leaving cookies for an older couple, I remember that are diabetic. I really hate myself, and the world too.

Christmas means there is snow in Utah. Snow is pretty and makes it feel more like Christmas than just another global-warming-affected December. I love the world!

Christmas means there is snow in Utah. Snow makes is feel like a frozen tundra and makes it impossible to drive to my beloved Las Vegas bowl featuring my beloved Cougars. I HATE THE WORLD.

Christmas is in less than a week and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I love the world.

What I Dream About: Part 2

So this sleep business is not getting any better. I wake up every morning exhausted because I sabotage myself in the middle of the night. My week in brief:

Monday: Joyce hears me from another room talking loudly. My subconscious thoughts? "Fish?!? I LOVE IT!!!"
Note: I hate fish.

Tuesday: I (sleep) walk into the front room and then kitchen on my house making sure that my roommates, myself, and another person who doesn't actually live at my house have a place to sleep comfortably. I sit on the couch for a while; I only know because that's where I woke up. SITTING UP on the living room couch.

Wednesday: I again wake up somewhere other than in bed. In fact I am STANDING UP in the corner of my kitchen and am freaked when I jolt awake.

Thursday: I remember standing up and walking to the closet in my bedroom. After that, no idea. I wake up with most of my clothes taken off of their hangers and distributed into two piles on my bedroom floor. And they aren't even color coordinated, the shame.

I guess this really isn't about the dreams I had this week, but clearly something off. This is getting ridiculous.

It Began at 9:00 AM

We left on Wednesday morning with literally no plans as to what we were going to do or where we were going to sleep once we landed in Honolulu. Our three-hour layover in San Francisco went like this:

• It is boring to sit in the airport for any amount of time so we left and jumped on the BART for a quick ride into the city where we had a lunch and then turned around to go back to the airport.


• After boarding the plane, the pilot announced over the loudspeaker that everyone was going to have to deboard so that he could perform some maintenance before taking off. Naturally, this does not support feelings of safety or wellbeing. Within two minutes of leaving our very-last-row seats on the plane we were able to board again.
  
• The highlight of this experience is when a woman began running through the connecting terminal-hallway towards the plane and upon skipping down the declined area, tripped over her husband, fell, and headed downhill a few feet before coming to a stop. She looked like a Yankee coming into third base, unnecessary slide and all. It sounds worse than it actually but rest assured that she jumped up quickly and was laughing as hard as we were. I have high hopes that that particular scene will end up on Youtube at some point, it was just that good.
  

We arrived in Oahu at 5:30 in the evening. Luckily, Tamara and Hannah are finishing up school at BYU Hawaii and were cool enough to grab us from the airport and transport us the hour or so drive to the North Shore where we planned on spending the most time. And even though they don’t read this, there must be a major shout-out to both of these girls; they are some of the best people I’ve met and were so much fun to hang out with, even when it required them, uh, falling ill and not being able to make it into school/internship/work for a few days. Truly this is a testament to the awesomeness that is hanging out at the beach on a Monday afternoon.

When we arrived in Laie that first night we decided to stay at the Laie Inn where the motto is surely “Screw the condition of the rooms – you’re in Hawaii.” After I checked the walls to make sure there was no visible blood or hidden camera peepholes, I went to sleep for a few hours until the 4 hour time difference caught up with me at 4:30 am. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad – I’ve definitely had worse experiences in hostels and once in an Econo-Lodge in South Dakota.

The next morning was great - Corey and I crossed paths as he was coming back from a walk to the beach and I was heading out and when we met back at the room, it was discovered that the door wouldn’t open to either of our magnetic key-cards. After a few trips to the front desk, it was determined that the (hung over) maintenance guy was going to need to take a look at the door and try to get it open. It had, of course, a bigger problem than he was able to fix so after prying the screen off of one of the windows, our newfound pal Dave from South Carolina was able to break into the room and unlock the door from the inside out. It feels good to know just how easy it is to break into those rooms.

Shortly after, we checked out and said goodbye to Laie Inn in hopes that we would find someone a little more hospitable. A highlight of cold-calling rental signs was when I talked to a guy who was renting an apartment of his house long term, not just as a vacation rental. I think that he must have been pretty hard up for some extra cash this month because after learning that we were only looking for something for a few days, he told me that he would be willing to prorate the monthly rental amount and would probably be able to “find an air mattress or something” for us to sleep on in the unfurnished house. I have reasonable fears that his final offer to seal the deal would have been for us to sleep on his couch for $20 a night as well as a shared bathroom with himself as a temporary roommate. Luckily for us, after taking a drive along the Kam highway calling signs we found a decent studio that had a beautiful beach access and the right price. It was tiny, rocked a kitchenette, that looked like this:



But it looked like this outside:

The small reef on the beach really was pretty and I loved waking up every morning and heading down just to watch the water for a while. This proved to be a good place to stay and I’m happy that we ended up there for the rest of the week.

After having settled on a place to dump our stuff, we headed to the first beach of the week, Waimea. We ended coming back to this same beach at least once a day because it is such a great beach and has good waves. I won’t be putting up any pictures from these first days because I can’t guarantee that all of you are wearing sunglasses and I would hate for my glaring whiteness to cause any permanent damage to your vision. Rest easy though; the white only lasted a few hours before it turned to a nice glowing sunburn. It is just so good to be pale and freckled, you don’t even know.

A highlight of the first day at the beach was happened while I was trying to get back into the swing of the waves; anyone in my family can attest to the fact that I am hands-down the best wave boarder, it’s a skill of little use that I generally take a lot of pride in. Unfortunately, I was caught off guard by a massive double-break wave that not only knocked me over, but also pulled me back and did it twice in a row. I have never had the breath knocked out of me before and it was a weird experience to have it happen under water for the first time. While I was working on being able to breathe all I could think about were the warnings that the lifeguards had been announcing that morning about dangerous surf and the high volume of back and spinal injuries that had occurred on this particular beach. Luckily, everything seemed all right by the next morning and I didn’t have to continually wiggle my fingers and toes to make sure I could feel them.

I know that even if I had successfully paralyzed myself I would have received no sympathy from the fishermen that randomly relocated themselves along the beach – Corey was quick to point out that as haole’s we would be smart not to make the old men mad and so we did our best to stay out their way, going as far as to leave the beach when I walked right into a line. Oops.

It was a good day ended by having dinner with Tamara and Hannah and followed by the consumption of the biggest shaved ice I have ever seen – it took all four of us to even come close to finishing it. Since we were still unused to the time difference and the girls both had school and work the next day, we all went home pretty early and I appreciated sleeping on a decent bed that allowed for my neck to miraculously heal itself after my attempt to bend myself in half earlier in the day.

So I Went To Hawaii

After a wonderful week, I arrived back at Salt Lake International first thing on Thursday morning. And then went straight to work. And then cried at my desk a little because I was back in Utah (Note: I do so wish I were kidding). Although it was a rough day, it speaks volumes about the good time I had on vacation this past week in Laie. I’m going to have to break up my stories by day because it just seems like there is a lot to tell and I am no good at being brief in the first place. The story of me going to Hawaii is this: after very little planning and a few changes in dates, Corey and I bought tickets to Oahu in hopes to stave off some of the winter depression that hits right about this time of year. And yes, I know it isn’t winter yet, but fall is simply a precursor to the worst 5 months of the year and that is just something that is unacceptable thankyouverymuch.

What I Dream About

I have had a series of really unfortunate dreams lately. Not the kind that leave me shaken or unnerved throughout the day, but the kind that make me wonder what in the hell my subconscious is worried about.

For example, after watching pieces of the presidential debate on Tuesday, I woke the next morning with the distinct feeling that I had really made Obama mad while I mediated an economic agreement between McCain and Bernacke. Now bear in mind, I don't really fully understand the ramifications of economic policy on strongholding, but in my mind I was opinionated enough to alienate a candidate. Never fear though, I spent the remainder of my sleeping hours trying to make it up to Barack by telling him about the screenplay I had written.

Worse that this, though, is the dream I had last night in which I spent a full night and day running around Manhattan trying to find Sara so that I could give her a road bike to take on her honeymoon. Because, you know, she had found someone she wanted to marry and was going to elope without actually telling me about it. Now Sara, don't get mad - I just really wanted you to know that I would bring you a bike before your wedding.

So here's the problem with these stupid little dreams that I remember so vividly every morning: I have a hard time determining what has actually happened in the real-person world and what I have only summoned in my head. Post-debate, I spent the day on edge with the feeling that I was going to have to explain my ill-conceived stimulus package to the American public because the current leaders of the country had been hurt by my non-partisan leanings. Similarly, I woke this morning wondering if I had missed what was sure to have been a good wedding and if I had hurt Sara's feelings by not providing a bike (it could have been new, borrowed, and blue!) on a really important day.

In short, I have no grasp on reality. But I might be able to write a screenplay.

More Pretty

I seem to be on a kick lately - like I have a party to plan or something... Eeks! Halloween!

Anyway, this portfolio by Amy Atlas Events is wonderful. Check it out.

I Like This

Came across this while interneting today. The Paris-based artists have created scenes using tiny figurines and daily household food/items. The website reads:

"The husband and wife team present a manufactured micro universe, part Toy Story, part Candy Land, populated with diminutive humanoid characters engaged in a range of ordinary and extraordinary activities. Since the project inception in 2002, the series has grown to over 60 images."

This is so clever, I wish I had thought of it first. I couldn't narrow down all of my favorites, but here are a few:

It's True:

No One Cares What You Had For Lunch. But here's the thing - I do what I want. So WATCH ME write about the mundane bits of my life. I work with what I have folks, judge all you want.

Back to the matter at hand though, it is no longer summer. Now, I get that Utah has these "four seasons" and that the temperature can't "feasibly stay" in the 90's. Sure, science triumphs again. Whatever. Fact of the matter is, I officially made the switch to hibernation mode last night due to frigid temperatures and a frosty demeanor (on my part, naturally.) Gone are the days of only one blanket on my bed, pajamas consisting of shorts and summery tee's. Instead, I write this from a bed that boasts the addition of two extra blankets and the reinstatement of the much-lauded heated mattress pad. I'm wearing a long sleeved thermal and damned flannel pants that scream "Yukon, Ho!"

Also - who did it best?!? I can't decide wheter Elvin Bishop or Rod Stewart made the superior version of "Fooled Around and Fell in Love." It's troubling.

And another thing - during a bike ride tonight I found that Provo has an Amtrak station. Pretty rad. I need to decide where I am going to ride it - east or west?

Ashley sent the text I love to get: the reminder of the 2008, 48 hour, Disneyland extravaganza that went down 6 months ago. I never remarked, but it was so choice. These are my favorite bits to remember:

• Ashley and I not sleeping the first night in Vegas - we just stared at each other in the dark for 3 hours


• Sporadically getting up to investigate the noises outside of where we were (not) sleeping. It was a basketball smackdown in the wee hours...


• Getting lost in Disneyland while the kindness of my friends allowed them to not leave me for dead


• All of Disneyland, really


• Getting turned around on the drive home and making a 1.5 hour detour in the middle of the Nevada desert. I am still in debt to Jessica and Heather for not leaving me right then and there. They are good girls.

So Good

I may be having a crap Christmas this year, because there was another shutout against Wyoming today (44-0). I mean, I know it's only Wyoming, but what are the odds that this string of luck is just a little bit or all for me? Either way, I am not complaining.

(But I really hope Max Hall and Austin Collie don't read this. They could clean my clock.)

Some Kind of Wonderful

I don’t think it’s a very Christian sentiment, but the highlight of my weekend was watching BYU football give UCLA an absolute thrashing. I mean, 59-0 is the best possibility you could even imagine in terms of improving national rank (which was a wash last week, even though we beat Washington fairly. But whatever. I’m not bitter or anything.) If it weren’t for the fact that we needed to redeem ourselves after a lucky win at the Vegas Bowl last year, I would have considered the win almost embarrassingly easy. Somehow, though, scoring three touchdowns in something like 6 minutes made it pretty easy to quickly shelf any sympathy for the Bruins.

In retrospect, it might have been a case of overkill but I already used my Christmas wish this year – all I wanted was a complete shutout. And so help me, it came true. This is my testimonial of Christmas wishes; I’m going to need all of you to make a similar wish for the U of U game come November…

The only, only, ONLY downside of the game was that I arrived without my best friend SPF 80. Which led to these unfortunate photos of an undocumented person being taken on Sunday. Whoever she is, she must feel pretty stupid. And hot. And burn-y. But you know, that’s pure conjecture.

Bonneville Salt Flats

This past weekend, Hilary and some girls she knows, Amy and Denise, and myself decided to make a quick overnight 'camping' trip to the Salt Flats near Wendover, NV. I use the word 'camping' only because I don't know what else you would call a 14-hour walking-and-sleeping-only excursion. Luckily, Denise brought along a 72-hour kit and Hils had hot chocolate to share for the next morning when I got up (not woke up, I didn't sleep) on the brink of freezing to death. Although when I think about it, there is probably nothing more dramatic or romantic than dying in the desert when one can see the bright lights of Wendover on the horizon, welcoming arms inviting to the land of $4.99 buffets and geriatric gambling.

We left just before 10:00 on Friday night and drove for about an hour and half before I thought I had found the road we wanted to ditch the car on and walk for a while. Not surprisingly, the road was not in fact the correct one and instead led us to this sign:

In case you can't tell, the sign informed us that we were in fact on a closed landfill. In the desert. On the Utah-Nevada border where it was sure to be full of toxic waste. It was awesome. Amy jumped out of the car and almost collapsed laughing when she realized that we were truly heading nowhere good.

Also, I don't have the picture but we definitely considered parking at the entrance of the speedway and might have been sleeping ON the track when the speed tests began first thing on Saturday morning. I'll admit that I am a little bit disappointed that things didn't go that way - it would have been interesting to be roused by the sounds of motorcycles driving 209 mph just for fun.

Eventually we found a relatively lonesome spot after walking a couple of miles and set up the camp/tarp. Notice how everyone else was prepared with blankets, hats, gloves? I uh, wasn't.

Hils and I tried to take a decent picture but the cornea-scorching brightness of the camera flash made it impossible.

Honestly, I can't complain about being so cold that I couldn't sleep because I was awake to see the sun rise, something that hasn't happened in some twenty years. It looks like this at 6:00 in the morning:

After the sun was high enough to thaw everyone out, we each went our separate ways to do some *ahem* business and then began the walk back.

Yes, I'm pretty sure my car was in view the entire time. It is no-joke flat out there.I was glad to find that Kenni (with an i) had taken some time to reflect. And collect that many rocks because man, it must have taken some time.

After stopping to talk to the race-coordinators at the raceway, we hit the road at around 9:00 with only one quick stop to take a picture of the WHITE salt flats where we should have been in the first place.

It was a good time. Anyone up for round 2?

Such a Dilemma

Torrey pointed out to me today that it has been more than a month since I last posted.

Which is lame.

But in my defense, I unfailingly find myself in the same predicament every time. Everyone knows that I don't often take the time to complete one task before I start another - I'm a multi-tasker like that. So I have all of these drafts of posts that I started with tentative titles like "But Why a Ukelele?" and "Buddha Must Hate Me" that I NEVER FINISH. By the time I re-visit, I've forgotten where I was going with the story, why it was interesting, what I was talking about, etc. I've decided that maybe I will start mixing and matching these unfinished stories because that will make about as much sense as if I had finished in the first. So let it be written. So let it be done.

A Good Story: That Damn Duck

Once when I was a child my mom and aunt (to the best of my recollection, I was a small child after all) took me on a 'fieldtrip' to Wheeler Farm. When you've spent your growing years in a super-suburban city where it is a rarity to see cattle, sheep, horses and the like it is exciting and somehow enticing to spend time not only near but in a chicken coop. Also to touch a cow on the nose through a fence and practically declare yourself a cowgirl at the experience.

But I digress.

The fact of the matter is that I was spending some quality "down-home country" time and was wandering and in particular, following a goose that stood as tall as my shoulder at the time. Unlike Sara I don't have a particular fear or dislike for birds and actually find them interesting, a truth that would later surface in preschool when I would be scolded for chasing/harassing a duck. Just because I could. Somehow as I was wondering a field or meadow or something I came in contact with a very large goose (maybe it was tiny, I was only a child!) that instead of getting out of my way decided that it would be a jerk and bite me instead. Only it wasn't a normal animal-type bite where the thing takes a quick nip and then back away, it was bite to my earlobe that just never ended; the dumb thing took grasp and wouldn't let go. Imagine me as a 2.5 foot tall kid, hunched over like Estelle from the Golden Girls, and weighed down by a possessed goose hanging on for dear life to my head. And let that be the image that comes to your mind as you stand to give a talk in sacrament meeting, because that's what happens to me every time.

Wherein I Prove Myself a Moron

As I spent last evening alone at my parents house I pursued the one course that would leave me nervous and jumpy for the entire night: I began watching a television show modeled after a horror film. Now, don't get me wrong - the plot was weak, the acting below grade, and it was less than an hour long.

But.

The storyline that included the living dead and pouding violently on locked doors was concerning as I began to hear little creaks and baby-pounds throughout the house. The basement is currently destroyed for remodeling which means that there was no sound insulation between the safe upper floor and the basement level of death, naturally. The only logical conclusion I came to during my hours of being too freaked out to sleep is that a zombie (of the living dead variety) had come into the house because I had probably left every single door unlocked (open? who knows!) and I would soon hear my dog running down the street in fear while I was left to fend for myself using only a pillow sham and an alarm clock of questionable quality.

And this is why I look the way I do every morning.

Rules of Engagement

Today I received my unofficial invitation (no pun intended) to get out of Provo - a wedding invitation from a stranger.

Unlike some post-BYU and still single girls, I really like getting announcements for upcoming weddings. It's interesting to see who looks more grown up, who looks younger than when you last saw them. Learning the names of your friends parents who you have never met, noticing whether the chosen font is unique or some unfortunate form of papyrus or lucida handwriting, whether the future newlyweds were instructed on appropriate hand placement in their photo(s) or if they are soon to be submitted here. Overall - I enjoy checking out annoucements and invitations.

After scanning the names of the bride or groom's parents on the return address label this afternoon with no recognition, I opened the envelope and wasn't able to recognize either names OR faces of the betrothed. What? The name of the girl is really different, there's no way that I would simply forget or get her confused with any run-of-the-mill named girls I have met here in the last 3 years. The guy is unfamiliar - I am certain that we've never met, and boys send out fewer announcements to their platonic friends in the first place .

So there it sits on the bookcase, the possible addition to the already crowded refrigerator, primed for a congratulatory card and gift (but not attendance to the reception, obviously.)
I've officially been bested on this one - Provo has won, I daresay. I've met enough people, been in enough wards, and attended enough parties. I'm tired. And worse, I'm curious.

Maybe Next Year

Big Brown,

I thought that this was your year - I had such high hopes! And your jockey was wearing stars, aren't those supposed to be good luck? This was it you know; you were supposed to be the triple crown winner, the first in thirty years... I guess as a consolation you can just remember that your net worth now is greater than what I'll ever make. Hats off to you, pal.

A Few of my Favorite Things

The best things heard/said in my office today:

1. Jordan talking to pizza place: "Really? Hey Matt, they say they don't have any beer"

2. IM conversation between Sarah and I:

Lani: ps - there is nothing good on people.com
Sarah: Amen
Today was so disappointing
Lani: how dare celebrities not have outrageous things happen every day
Sarah: I know!
They are supposed to be ENTERTAINERS
Does that mean anything to them?
Lani: probably not, inconsiderate jerks
Sarah: For real
Rich bastards

3. Jordan, stranded on freeway: "Uh... I ran out of gas"

It's only 2:30 and it's been a great day.

Summer Happenings: San Francisco

I am back. And it's already time to leave again. Well, not really - I have GOT to stay put for long enough to take care of some items of business that have been neglected but I am no-joke already hurting for another weekend away. What does this say about my life, you may ask? Just don't ask - I have no idea.

After arriving in San Jose on Friday night, Sara and I packed ourselves a couple of backpacks and caught the CalTrain to San Francisco in the morning. We both definitely fell asleep face-down on the formica table afforded our section of the train - the jury is still out as to whether I contracted any communicable diseases from that encounter. I was totally unprepared as to how cold the weekend was actually going to be - I took short sleeved shirts, flip flops, and just a basic fleece to keep me warm and it was a good thing that we were continually on the move because it was CHILLY! Luckily, we literally were always on the move; on the full days of Saturday and Sunday that we were in the city I'm guessing that we walked 14-16 hours each. Loved it. At some point we were both wincing and hobbling a little bit, but Sara is tougher than me and I try to keep up, you know? We made sure to make plenty of treat stops to maintain our energy and also made time for a brief nap just off of a pathway in the park. One day after situating a backpack to use as a pillow, we fell asleep for a few minutes and upon waking, were pleased to notice that a little man had taken a seat on the bench some 15 ft. from us and was watching like a hawk. I can't decide if he was thinking about trying to steal our stuff or about offering us some money to go and sit tight in a shelter for a while.



There was no need though, as a new experience for me was staying in the Mason St. Intl. Hostel:



Sara made all of the arrangements and the price and location were perfect - I think I may become a frequenter of hostels. They are competitively priced, there are bunkbeds, and you may get a cool roommate like Bridget, our new friend from Ireland who has been hanging out in Canada for the last year just for the hell of it. What a life, right? Poor Sara may not have gotten the best end of this deal as she doesn't sleep much and there is literally nothing to do in the rooms other than sleep. Total trooper.



On Sunday we decided to take off on a walk and see if we couldn't find the Exploratorium (we couldn't), see the park (we did), and get lost for 6 or so hours (we did). After biking through Golden Gate park and along the beach for a few hours, we ended up on Haight-Ashbury and were able to see all-things-Grateful-Dead. The street was pretty cool and we found some cute boutiques and funky little shops to look at while we walked. A while later, we were looping back towards Mason and found a little outdoor market-fair thing that we hung out at for a while. For those of you that don't know, I could spend all day looking through Etsy and the blocked off streets were the physical manifestation of all that etsy could offer - everything was handmade, fairly original, and generally awesome. I could have spent a LONG TIME just going back to look and talk with the vendors but we caught it at the end and saw everything pretty quick. I found this little gem of a shop and bought a tiny little necklace that I fairly adore. This is one of my favorite things about bigger and more temperate cities- the outdoor markets! We went throught the farmer's market on the Embarcadero and then found the goods market without even looking- they somehow just appear with the most lovely of items. I swear I would move somewhere if there was the promise of fresh flowers being wrapped in newspaper for my consumer purposes... My purchasing power was definitely exercised between the boutiques, markets, and last but not least: the famous City Lights Bookstore. We literally wandered by the front door one night and I am so glad that Sara suggested going in; I didn't know it at the time but City Lights was one of the most popular locations for beat readers like Ginsberg, Kerouac, and Ferlinghetti. Since of my best/favorite papers written at BYU was on Ginsberg's "A Supermarket in California" I honored the location by reading parts of "Howl" and purchasing "On the Road." I don't know the last time I felt so patriotic to my cause.



We caught the early train back to San Jose first thing on Monday morning and after a quick change of clothes headed down towards Santa Cruz to hang on the beach. After a quick tour of the actual 'town' of Santa Cruz (again, full of boutiques and outdoor sales) we headed to a prety vacant beach where Sara wore layers and I wore layers plus a coat. We didn't last too long because it was cold but upon getting back to the car it wouldn't start. So, we warmed up by taking a couple-hours walk along the railroad tracks and once we got back it started! Hooray! We made it back to Sara's house and her generous dad and step-mom made a great/much needed barbeque. It just doesn't seem like Memorial Day if there isn't some grilling involved, you know?

I left the next day after some MAJOR sleeping (like, more than I've slept since Christmas) and some errand running (via bicycle, naturally). The flight home was uneventful, unlike the first which I only made by running through the airport in really unfortunate shoes. So here I am, just catching up on the mundane and real life related. My only goal for next time is to have my camera in operating condition and learn how to be more brief in my re-telling. We'll see...

Summer Happenings: Florida

I'm packing to go to San Francisco tomorrow and feel a little bit guilty that I never posted anything about my last trip, Florida with Sarah. Unfortunately, we were both depending on the other to bring a camera to document our wild and crazy doings, but neither of us actually brought one. So, as sad as it is that I am having trouble remembering the events of only three weeks ago, I'm going to have to rely on Sarah to fill in the blanks where I've already forgotten. Here's the rundown:

After an interminable flight seated next to a recently-divorced father of three (who, if it must be said, was a little too comfortable with my company), we had a short layover in Albequerque, New Mexico. For anyone who may have a deep and abiding love for the 'Albequerque International Sunport,' please stop reading right now. I've never spent time in what can only described as the ghetto-booty of all airports. It was dirty! It was crowded! There were only like 3 terminals! I paid $8 for yogurt and water! Feeling slightly violated an hour later, we left for Tampa and arrived late afternoon. Seriously you guys, Florida rocks. It was warm and a little bit humid and had green plants and trees! That were GREEN! And ALIVE! Clearly, a big improvement over the snow flurries that we had left earlier that morning.

We spent the next two days at the beach - first at St. Petersburg and then Fort DeSoto Park on the Gulf of Mexico. It's interesting - St. Petersburg was mostly populated by the older generation. From what I could tell, most everyone must have decided that as they are approaching death's door there was no point in worrying about using sunscreen or sun protection of any kind. Instead, tanning oil (and possibly butter) were liberally applied to every surface of these people and they were 'leathering' before our eyes. Sick. Don't worry though, me and my SPF 80 were sitting pretty, in a long sleeved shirt and under a beach umbrella, naturally.

On Sunday, I left on what was supposed to be a little drive (while Sarah half-sat/half-stood at home with a nasty sunburn) and ended up on the other side of Florida, Cocoa beach on the Atlantic. I'm not really sure because of the screwy way that I got there, but I think I drove for a little over three hours. I won't lie - it was kind of great. I like to drive and I had a charged ipod that lasted me through Orlando and the coastal drive - I ended up feeling like I had finally figured out the freeway system and saw a lot of landscape throughout the afternoon and evening. I suppose I ought to have a destination in mind the next time I pick up and go. I came back to good old allergy-ville Utah on Monday afternoon. It was a real, real, good vacation - I read 4 books, sat by the pool, played with a puppy (no joke), bought the most amazing water-noodle ever created, ate fresh fruit, took some lovely walks, and managed to escape without a sunburn or case of food poisoning. The last part is most surprising because one night we ate Mexican food purchased from a bus-turned-restaurant. Needless to say, it was sketchy.

Since I've been home, I've been anxiously counting down the days to this San Francisco bit where I'll be seeing Sara M. and biking through countryside. Or something, I guess. No real idea what the itinerary is - perfect for me!

So, I graduated

I started knocking college courses out of the way when I was a junior in high school, so it it feels like I have been in school for nigh unto a lifetime. I know I have the paperwork in a box that is currently in my basement, but I can't even remember the number of credits I now have to my name. Fact of the matter is, though, I did the thing and am now the owner of my very own (in the mail?) diploma stating that I have graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English.

Now what?

Fair to Moderate

I don't really understand the mechanics of how my office is located in the seventh circle of hell, characterized by the strangest weather in Utah. Does anyone remember the great I-almost-slept-at-Thanksgiving Point snowstorm earlier this year? I sure do. Luckily, my current issue with the weirdness that is Lehi, Utah is not with any residual snow storm. It is, however, with the massive amount of wind that hits us here at the Point of the Mountain. I tried to take a picture, but the glass of my window obscured it to the point of uselessness. Fact of the matter is, I can barely see beyond the office parking lot because of the dirt and pollen and probably garbage that has been kicked up by the 35 mph wind. If I were around any sort of nature whatsoever it would definitely look like this:

I'm so glad that I packed baby carrots today because I am hiding out at my desk for lunch. Wind, you're ruining my life.

Today

The Bad: Tanked my last real test for my British literature class tonight

The Good: Last test taken at the testing center, hopefully for the rest of my life

The Bad: Didn't do an awesome job on my presentation this morning for English 495

The Good: I was wearing really cute shoes

The Bad: Current sleeping schedule has left me all sorts of screwed up. I'm wide awake for the next two hours but am going to be dead tired at three in the afternoon

The Good: I went and saw a late showing of "21" - it was alright and was a great distraction from aforementioned test

The Bad: 2 more papers, 1 project, one final

The Good: Some people have a great many more finals to take than I do

The Bad: It was snowing AGAIN this morning

The Good: I'm going to be in Florida in 3 weeks

The Bad: I just got pulled over for rolling through a 4-way stop (at 2:00 am)

The Good: I only got a warning and the policeman got my phone number.

End In Sight

Well folks,
I may have been MIA for the past week and a half, but it is for good reason. You see, I've been spending all of my time here:

or here: (work office)

and all of this has been made possible with the help of these:

Luckily, I am right on track to be here in 3 weeks:

No lie- I am going to sleep for 3 days straight after April 24th. It will be awesome.

Grrr

I was just attempting to post a nice happy little note, but my picture won't add. I am blogger-illiterate and could really use some help if anyone wants to offer a brief tutorial as to why I can't make this thing work.

???

If this works, Melissa just fixed my blog.

It works! She is a genius and fixed it! Yay Melissa, you are the best!

Ahem.

Dear Guy Who Sat Behind Me At Last Night's Game:

Although I truly, truly, appreciated your commentary on all-things-BYU during the entire basketball game, my favorite part of the experience of sitting near you was the fact that you shared your opinions so openly and at such a volume. Because you know, I may not have understood that “THAT WAS TOTALLY A FOUL, LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT SITDOWN!” without it being yelled directly into my ear.

Also, I am so happy to know that Salt Lake City barely qualifies as a real town (being as it only has three buildings over ten stories high) and that the entire state of Utah is in fact a cesspool of uncultured, uneducated rednecks. So happy to have you here. May you be able to leave the torturous existence that is the Beehive State very, very soon.

Moreover, I was glad that I had the opportunity of learning about your hometown of Boston; until last night I was unaware that Boston boasted not only the best sports teams in country but is the seat of American democracy as we know it. I certainly feel more secure in the knowledge that the greatest minds of the past two hundred years are almost as important as the Red Sox, with God coming in at a close third.

Thank you so much for the opportunity of becoming a better person because I was able to sit near you. I now know that I should probably begin working on my resume of domestic skills, abilities that apparently have been sorely neglected in my “overall useless” pursuit of higher education. I guess I didn’t know that women were better suited to spend their time barefoot and pregnant than in the classroom or workplace. I was happy to hear that you and your wife are now expecting your third child, scheduled to arrive pretty near the end of your Junior year of an undergraduate degree. Congratulations and may your spawn be spared your wisdom and knowledge for many, many years.

Sincerely,

Lani

Whew!

It has been a long time since I’ve taken a minute to write anything that wasn’t school or work related, upwards of two weeks it seems. And why? Well, because things got busy. Papers needed to be written, a thesis needed to be plotted, a medieval literature test needed to be studied for and taken, hundreds of pages needed to read, and so on and so forth. Although there are a hundred things that I would LOVE to comment on, I think that the only way to accurately sum up what I’ve been doing is the worst kind of retrospective – best only used in VH1 specials or on E! And here it is, my very own Best Week(s) Ever:

• My Utopia/Dystopia class is awesome – I’ve been reading More’s Utopia, Gilman’s Herland, and some awesome short stories in the last two weeks.
  
  I love the course, but I usually don’t have much to say until after the class has ended and I’ve missed my chance to wow my fellow Senior course students and professor. Sigh. I learn a lot and honestly can’t get enough of the reading and the discussion, even if I only listen in.

Note: I’ve wanted to keep up on my monthly reading list and review, but I don’t have the time to review my books outside of class. Maybe I’ll revisit in a few.

• It seems that I am no scholar when it comes to Old and Middle English literature. I spent all of last night (from 6:00 pm to 1:30 am) writing a junky version of a Canterbury tale in Middle English, one of three major assignments due for the course. It is silly and I hope that my lame joke at the end will earn me some sympathy points from the TA. It worked last week when I referenced Beckham and Posh in a quiz.
  
• I went to Idaho Falls with Joc, Trav, and Hannah a few weekends ago and thoroughly enjoyed the time I had to spend with family there. They invited me to the open house of the new Rexburg temple and it was great to be able to go through the tour, something I haven’t done since the Timpanogos Temple was built.

I loved being able to hang out with Grandma and Val (including one of my favorite pastimes with these lovely ladies, going to the a fun chick-flick like “27 Dresses”) as well as getting to spend time with the Elwood clan and getting to know baby Kinzie a little more. I have to say, I adore that little girl. She is the funniest thing and made me laugh my head off a number of times in just a few short days. You guys are the best - - thanks for letting me crash your weekend and for putting up with my shoe-shopping obsession! Can’t wait to see you all in just a few short weeks – start getting excited!

• It has been snowing here non-stop for weeks. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I honestly don’t remember the last time that there were so many storms during the week. I started to shovel our driveway last Saturday and was shoveling eight or so inches of accumulated snow on top of three inches of solid ice. As a result, I am dying to get out of town for a few days. If you live out of state (preferably somewhere warm) please invite me to come and visit. I’ll be there in a jiffy.

• Ashley coordinated a rad dance party at my house a few weeks ago to celebrate Jessica’s and Heather’s birthdays. Who doesn’t enjoy a little dirty dancing with strangers once in a while? Nobody, that’s who.

• My office moved from our space at the Riverwoods to a bigger building at Thanksgiving Point. Unfortunately, it’s an increased commute for me and a further stress on my already super-tight schedule. However, it will be nice once the weather is warmer because I will definitely be taking lots of walks through the gardens and maybe some bike rides in the summer. I guess I’m a glass-half-full kind of girl.

• I’ve taught a few Sunday School lessons in the past few weeks and I’m beginning to get over some of the anxiety that makes me wish I could melt into the wall during the class. I’m no scholar but once I get over the public speaking issue I have, I may actually start to enjoy the calling. MAYBE.

• My sleeping habits have been pretty strange over the past week or so; one night last weekend I remember dreaming that it was important that I make a trail or path in my bedroom for someone to follow. I woke up at around 4:30 in the morning to find all of my five pillows, two comforters, both sheets, and extra blanket wound around in an S-shaped pattern on my floor from the door to my bed. I can only imagine that I was hoping some man would find and follow it.
  
  (Just kidding Mom and Dad. Sort of.)

• I bought a new ipod, a little guy like this:
  

We’re not really friends yet, I still miss my little white nano but am getting used to the blocky-ness of the new style. I really need to attempt some sort of organization of my library so that I know where everything is on the new one, I’m thinking this may help with the issue of familiarity.

• My “roomie” Kaylene and I finally met up last weekend for a little bit of sledding followed by a little bit of girls night. I have been talking about getting out in the snow for the past TWO winters with this girl; I remember how fun it was the last time I went sledding in American Fork canyon with the family-Chandler and this time Jared is in the country to come too! What fortune! We went to some decent hills off of a golf course in Salem and lasted a few short hours before we were dead tired from trekking up the hills even just a couple of times. She might not admit that it was very fun, but Kay got some awesome air as she ran directly towards a jump; I thought that I was going to break a rib as I saw her take the hill like a pro. It was so much fun, thanks for humoring me you guys!

• The worst weather I have ever experienced took form in a blizzard that hit the area directly where I work on Wednesday night. It started snowing and blowing really intensely around 2:00 in the afternoon and by 5:00 had turned into a full blown blizzard accompanied by merciless wind that caused a total whiteout.
• At one point, all of the freeway was at a standstill for hours and all exits and side-roads had been closed because of the traffic accidents and danger. A friend told me that she saw people stopping to put chains on their tires right in the middle of the freeway! Torrey tells it much better than I do and was a doll to keep my updated on the traffic situation since she left the office a couple of hours before I did. Hilary was headed north towards Salt Lake and kept me updated with the situation on that front also. I have some very nice friends :) There were abandoned cars all over the roads and in the parking lots of the offices, so there was a lot of carpooling that night. I left work a little bit before 8:00 and had only made it about a half a mile in almost 90 minutes before it was decided that it was probably best to wait out the worst of the storm. So, I ended up at one the restaurants at Thanksgiving Point where some people from my office had dinner (courtesy of Matt) and hung out for an additional 2 ½ hours until the freeway exits were clear. After a scary drive home (in which I totally spun-out on the freeway, barely missing being sideswiped by a semi) I got home a little bit after 1:00 am - - it was a long day and made for rough business to wake up for work in the morning!
  


• As a result of all of the homework and unexpected weather delays of the past week, I have spent the last four nights on campus until at least midnight and have at best only been catching a few hours of sleep each night. Unfortunately, this means that I completely missed the last four days of the world, including Valentines Day. So, Happy Valentines Day to one and all! I hope to get caught up enough this weekend that I can still celebrate – I’m shooting for Sunday J Please make yourselves available for visits or phone calls in the afternoon because I would love to have a minute to chat and let you all know how much I love/miss you!

So there you have it - what I’ve been doing and seeing and procrastinating for the last while. The recall of that list was monstrous - for my own benefit I am going to have to keep more on top of updating. The procrastination thing can only work for so long, after all…