A Good Story: Damn You, Gem State

Let’s get one thing straight – I don’t want to be that girl who finally calls someone back after 6 (or.. ahem… seventeen) months and then spends the subsequent 15 minutes detailing, explaining, and then apologizing for the long interval of no communication. Let’s cut to the chase shall we?

When last we met I had run into some, shall we say, “visibility” issues that rendered both my right fender and someone else’s motorcycle pretty much useless. But that is neither here nor there. However, yesterday I was reminded of an incident from last month that answers the question as to why my monthly insurance premium is excessive to the point of ludicrous – an incident involving the Idaho State Highway Patrol.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a highway motorist in possession of a well-functioning vehicle must take precautions while approaching the few-and-far-between townships of Southeast Idaho. I have been pulled over in both Pocatello and McCammon (twice!) without ever receiving a speeding ticket, and so have learned that it is imperative to slow-the-hell-down as you come upon these areas. I guess the local municipal taxes are in continuous need of supplement?

On this particular drive, I was alone and had chosen to watch/listen to the first season of a TV show to pass the time. The problem with this is that is easy to become distracted to the point that you become oblivious to the surrounding areas as you drive by, which I realized when I happened to glance into my rearview mirror and noticed the flashing lights of a patrol car as it sped closer and closer to me. My first thought was to panic- not at the fact that I was speeding (a given) but at the fact that I am SURE it is illegal to set a portable DVD player on the dash of an operating vehicle, much less have one playing while reading text messages simultaneously. In one deft motion I threw my phone onto the passenger seat and sent the player/accompanying AV cords crashing to the floor. As I began to pull over to the shoulder I realized the stereo was still blaring dialogue from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (which is, by the way, a show about reprobates who do horrible things to each other – not exactly something an upstanding citizen should enjoy as much as I do) and so I frantically began pushing buttons in hope that a respectable classical music station or CD of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir would take its place. Unfortunately I wasn’t acquainted with the newly-installed faceplate and so I only succeeded in turning the still-noisy output to a cracking radio station. As my car came to a stop and the officer began walking towards my window I finally accomplished turning the entire thing off and I began formulating the plan of action that would allow me to evade another violation on my driving record.

I rolled down my window while shaking my hair loose and trying to appear guiltless; I admit that I am not above shameless flirting when it comes to these things. The officer was youngish and asked “where I was heading” as I began to look through my wallet for a license – I laughed and spoke of the family visits, reading to orphans and saving puppies that I planned to do upon my arrival in Idaho Falls, a short hour-long drive from where we were stopped – anything to win him over. As I reached across the seat to find my registration and proof of insurance, he asked if I had any idea of how fast I was going- I plied him with an apologetic laugh and told him truthfully that I did not, that I was distracted and hadn’t been paying careful enough attention for a few moments. He returned the smile as he said “well, when I first clocked you, you were cruising at about 90 mph.” My grin faltered somewhat as I began to contemplate the inclusion of the word “first” as he continued: “but when I started flashing my lights and siren you sped up to 98 mph.” As I began to comprehend how it was possible that he had been so close behind me when I noticed the flashing lights I realized that he had probably been attempting to get my attention for a while. He concluded “I was thinking you were making a run for it – you had me pretty nervous about how this was going to turn out.”

On the plus side the ticket was only $85.

Weekend in Three Parts

Part 1: Introduction
Plans include Sarah's Birthday, Utah State Fair, BYU football, work appointments, open house.

Part 2: Conflict
Friday- "Groping" incident at birthday venue leads to arrest of drunk/high/underage youth. Restitution? Eighty arcade tokens and free go-kart rides.

Saturday- Driving to investment homes with client, I hit a motorcyclist. I HIT A HUMAN BEING WITH MY CAR. Purely accidental, but traumatic. He's okay, I cry. Cancel appointments.

Part 3: Resolution
Sunday- Stay in bed for as long as possible, watch Arrested Development and Flight of the Conchords until weekend is completely forgotten.

FIN

Better Than Christmas

(20) Brigham Young 14,
(3) Oklahoma 13


Nay, best day EVER.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Tonight was the first official broadcast of the 2009 season Bronco Mendenhall Show. Except for all of the wild children and nursing mothers (since when is that okay?) it was pretty great. Kaylene and I were reminiscing as to how it felt like nothing had changed since last year when we hit most of the shows... and then I thought, if we don't have a better season that last year I will just have to cry. A lot. But I don't even care. Bring it, Sooners.

Summer: A Portrait

Once your life has revolved around a college-semester calendar, May is the new June, August is the new September, and that means four months of summer instead of three. I win! But, I'm not a student right now and I work full time - so I lose. However, I have managed to do some really great stuff anyway. Some of the highlights of this summer have been:

Zion National Park/Kannarraville Canyon

Some friends and I decided to do a quick trip to Zion and then on our way back, hit a canyon in Kannarraville that we had heard was pretty. My favorite parts were Angel's Landing (not NEARLY as difficult as I had heard/was expecting) and hiking through the narrows in Kannarraville. Next year, I want to take some climbing gear and try to go further than we were able to in the canyon- I'm already excited.

On my leisurely stroll up to Angel's Landing, there was an owl. Pretty cute, right?

In order to get to the Narrows, we had to hike for a couple of miles along the river and through all sorts of trees, there really wasn't an established trail.

Somewhere along the way, my leg got scratched and I looked like a wannabe "X-Men" for a few weeks afterward. This didn't look so great with my summer uniform of skirts and flip flops...

This is Emily. She is pretty short but you can still tell how impressive the trailhead of the Narrows is; just as beautiful as the Zion Narrows and a lot less crowded. I would definitely recommend this area to anyone who wants to avoid the crowds and fees at Zion but still catch some river hiking, definitely a good time had by all.

Time to Invest in an Epi-Pen

Does anyone remember the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie is trying on wedding dresses and gets a heinous skin rash as a result? Possibly because of the dress, but more likely because the idea of the committment causes a physio-dermal reaction. Funny, right?

WELL NOT SO MUCH.

To be fair, I certainly wasn't trying on wedding dresses for fun (because that sounds more horrifying than awesome) but instead was at a very small, friend-of-the-family-type barbeque that I was invited to for the purpose of meeting some boy. Now, you might be asking yourself "Why would this be distressing?" And to be fair, it shouldn't be. But between running into an old interest of mine earlier in the week and damn near hyperventilating at the encounter, giving my phone number out to someone I barely know, and then putting myself into a SOCIAL situations, where STRANGERS and BOYS might be present, my unconscious had had enough. After about an hour and a half, I started feeling that my left shoulder was mysteriously itching, and that my arms were getting increasingly hot; I felt my face flushing and when I finally thought to look down and saw that I had broken out in massive welts and hives all over.

So there you have it. I'm Carrie to the seventh degree. I don't even have to have the threat of concrete commitment looming and I can prematurely panic the point of physical reaction, thereby allowing me to flee the situation. Just try and tell me that isn't some sort of evolutionary engineering.

Did You Know?

Did you know that I haven't blogged since 2008?

Also, did you know that since then I've moved from Provo to a new home in Lehi? Lehi!

Did you know that I visited Cindi in Portland? Did you know that in that weekend I saw more subaru's than I have in my entire life?


Did you know that I went skiing with my Dad last month and got sick while halfway up the mountain? Did you know I had to ride down the rest of the way on the emergency snow machine?

Did you know that Thanksgiving Point has somehow taught the local deer to read signs?

Did you know that after I had a pedicure yesterday my pedicure-ist asked me if I wanted to have my eyebrows waxed? And that after I continually tried to tell her I couldn't because of a skin allergy she said "fine - whatever, it's your face." Can you believe that?

Did you know that I have woken up every morning for the past week with my blanket turned around a perfect 90 degrees on my bed? Don't you think that's weird?

Did you know that the girls and I participated in the Race for the Cure? Did you know that it is a fantastic event/cause and I think you should do it next year?

Finally, do you know how hard it is to try and remember 5 months of events? Seriously, you guys. It's like I have no memories.