Grrr

I was just attempting to post a nice happy little note, but my picture won't add. I am blogger-illiterate and could really use some help if anyone wants to offer a brief tutorial as to why I can't make this thing work.

???

If this works, Melissa just fixed my blog.

It works! She is a genius and fixed it! Yay Melissa, you are the best!

Ahem.

Dear Guy Who Sat Behind Me At Last Night's Game:

Although I truly, truly, appreciated your commentary on all-things-BYU during the entire basketball game, my favorite part of the experience of sitting near you was the fact that you shared your opinions so openly and at such a volume. Because you know, I may not have understood that “THAT WAS TOTALLY A FOUL, LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT SITDOWN!” without it being yelled directly into my ear.

Also, I am so happy to know that Salt Lake City barely qualifies as a real town (being as it only has three buildings over ten stories high) and that the entire state of Utah is in fact a cesspool of uncultured, uneducated rednecks. So happy to have you here. May you be able to leave the torturous existence that is the Beehive State very, very soon.

Moreover, I was glad that I had the opportunity of learning about your hometown of Boston; until last night I was unaware that Boston boasted not only the best sports teams in country but is the seat of American democracy as we know it. I certainly feel more secure in the knowledge that the greatest minds of the past two hundred years are almost as important as the Red Sox, with God coming in at a close third.

Thank you so much for the opportunity of becoming a better person because I was able to sit near you. I now know that I should probably begin working on my resume of domestic skills, abilities that apparently have been sorely neglected in my “overall useless” pursuit of higher education. I guess I didn’t know that women were better suited to spend their time barefoot and pregnant than in the classroom or workplace. I was happy to hear that you and your wife are now expecting your third child, scheduled to arrive pretty near the end of your Junior year of an undergraduate degree. Congratulations and may your spawn be spared your wisdom and knowledge for many, many years.

Sincerely,

Lani

Whew!

It has been a long time since I’ve taken a minute to write anything that wasn’t school or work related, upwards of two weeks it seems. And why? Well, because things got busy. Papers needed to be written, a thesis needed to be plotted, a medieval literature test needed to be studied for and taken, hundreds of pages needed to read, and so on and so forth. Although there are a hundred things that I would LOVE to comment on, I think that the only way to accurately sum up what I’ve been doing is the worst kind of retrospective – best only used in VH1 specials or on E! And here it is, my very own Best Week(s) Ever:

• My Utopia/Dystopia class is awesome – I’ve been reading More’s Utopia, Gilman’s Herland, and some awesome short stories in the last two weeks.
  
  I love the course, but I usually don’t have much to say until after the class has ended and I’ve missed my chance to wow my fellow Senior course students and professor. Sigh. I learn a lot and honestly can’t get enough of the reading and the discussion, even if I only listen in.

Note: I’ve wanted to keep up on my monthly reading list and review, but I don’t have the time to review my books outside of class. Maybe I’ll revisit in a few.

• It seems that I am no scholar when it comes to Old and Middle English literature. I spent all of last night (from 6:00 pm to 1:30 am) writing a junky version of a Canterbury tale in Middle English, one of three major assignments due for the course. It is silly and I hope that my lame joke at the end will earn me some sympathy points from the TA. It worked last week when I referenced Beckham and Posh in a quiz.
  
• I went to Idaho Falls with Joc, Trav, and Hannah a few weekends ago and thoroughly enjoyed the time I had to spend with family there. They invited me to the open house of the new Rexburg temple and it was great to be able to go through the tour, something I haven’t done since the Timpanogos Temple was built.

I loved being able to hang out with Grandma and Val (including one of my favorite pastimes with these lovely ladies, going to the a fun chick-flick like “27 Dresses”) as well as getting to spend time with the Elwood clan and getting to know baby Kinzie a little more. I have to say, I adore that little girl. She is the funniest thing and made me laugh my head off a number of times in just a few short days. You guys are the best - - thanks for letting me crash your weekend and for putting up with my shoe-shopping obsession! Can’t wait to see you all in just a few short weeks – start getting excited!

• It has been snowing here non-stop for weeks. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I honestly don’t remember the last time that there were so many storms during the week. I started to shovel our driveway last Saturday and was shoveling eight or so inches of accumulated snow on top of three inches of solid ice. As a result, I am dying to get out of town for a few days. If you live out of state (preferably somewhere warm) please invite me to come and visit. I’ll be there in a jiffy.

• Ashley coordinated a rad dance party at my house a few weeks ago to celebrate Jessica’s and Heather’s birthdays. Who doesn’t enjoy a little dirty dancing with strangers once in a while? Nobody, that’s who.

• My office moved from our space at the Riverwoods to a bigger building at Thanksgiving Point. Unfortunately, it’s an increased commute for me and a further stress on my already super-tight schedule. However, it will be nice once the weather is warmer because I will definitely be taking lots of walks through the gardens and maybe some bike rides in the summer. I guess I’m a glass-half-full kind of girl.

• I’ve taught a few Sunday School lessons in the past few weeks and I’m beginning to get over some of the anxiety that makes me wish I could melt into the wall during the class. I’m no scholar but once I get over the public speaking issue I have, I may actually start to enjoy the calling. MAYBE.

• My sleeping habits have been pretty strange over the past week or so; one night last weekend I remember dreaming that it was important that I make a trail or path in my bedroom for someone to follow. I woke up at around 4:30 in the morning to find all of my five pillows, two comforters, both sheets, and extra blanket wound around in an S-shaped pattern on my floor from the door to my bed. I can only imagine that I was hoping some man would find and follow it.
  
  (Just kidding Mom and Dad. Sort of.)

• I bought a new ipod, a little guy like this:
  

We’re not really friends yet, I still miss my little white nano but am getting used to the blocky-ness of the new style. I really need to attempt some sort of organization of my library so that I know where everything is on the new one, I’m thinking this may help with the issue of familiarity.

• My “roomie” Kaylene and I finally met up last weekend for a little bit of sledding followed by a little bit of girls night. I have been talking about getting out in the snow for the past TWO winters with this girl; I remember how fun it was the last time I went sledding in American Fork canyon with the family-Chandler and this time Jared is in the country to come too! What fortune! We went to some decent hills off of a golf course in Salem and lasted a few short hours before we were dead tired from trekking up the hills even just a couple of times. She might not admit that it was very fun, but Kay got some awesome air as she ran directly towards a jump; I thought that I was going to break a rib as I saw her take the hill like a pro. It was so much fun, thanks for humoring me you guys!

• The worst weather I have ever experienced took form in a blizzard that hit the area directly where I work on Wednesday night. It started snowing and blowing really intensely around 2:00 in the afternoon and by 5:00 had turned into a full blown blizzard accompanied by merciless wind that caused a total whiteout.
• At one point, all of the freeway was at a standstill for hours and all exits and side-roads had been closed because of the traffic accidents and danger. A friend told me that she saw people stopping to put chains on their tires right in the middle of the freeway! Torrey tells it much better than I do and was a doll to keep my updated on the traffic situation since she left the office a couple of hours before I did. Hilary was headed north towards Salt Lake and kept me updated with the situation on that front also. I have some very nice friends :) There were abandoned cars all over the roads and in the parking lots of the offices, so there was a lot of carpooling that night. I left work a little bit before 8:00 and had only made it about a half a mile in almost 90 minutes before it was decided that it was probably best to wait out the worst of the storm. So, I ended up at one the restaurants at Thanksgiving Point where some people from my office had dinner (courtesy of Matt) and hung out for an additional 2 ½ hours until the freeway exits were clear. After a scary drive home (in which I totally spun-out on the freeway, barely missing being sideswiped by a semi) I got home a little bit after 1:00 am - - it was a long day and made for rough business to wake up for work in the morning!
  


• As a result of all of the homework and unexpected weather delays of the past week, I have spent the last four nights on campus until at least midnight and have at best only been catching a few hours of sleep each night. Unfortunately, this means that I completely missed the last four days of the world, including Valentines Day. So, Happy Valentines Day to one and all! I hope to get caught up enough this weekend that I can still celebrate – I’m shooting for Sunday J Please make yourselves available for visits or phone calls in the afternoon because I would love to have a minute to chat and let you all know how much I love/miss you!

So there you have it - what I’ve been doing and seeing and procrastinating for the last while. The recall of that list was monstrous - for my own benefit I am going to have to keep more on top of updating. The procrastination thing can only work for so long, after all…

In Remembrance of President Hinckley

President Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints passed away this evening. I am sad. I always considered President Hinckley to be "my" prophet because it is his influence and counsel that I remember most throughout my youth; he spoke to my generation with love and concern and served as the mouthpiece for my church.

The following is an excerpt from a talk given in general conference in 2002, I have used parts of it in various lessons and talks of my own since then and I think that sharing it would be the best memorial I could offer.

Do we as Latter-day Saints really understand and appreciate the strength of our position? Among the religions of the world, it is unique and wonderful.

Is this Church an educational institution? Yes. We are constantly and endlessly teaching, teaching, teaching in a great variety of circumstances. Is it a social organization? Indeed. It is a great family of friends who mingle together and enjoy one another. Is it a mutual aid society? Yes. It has a remarkable program for building self-reliance and granting aid to those in distress. It is all of these and more. But beyond these it is the Church and kingdom of God established and directed by our Eternal Father and His Beloved Son, the risen Lord Jesus Christ, to bless all who come within its fold.

We declare without equivocation that God the Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, appeared in person to the boy Joseph Smith.

When I was interviewed by Mike Wallace on the 60 Minutes program, he asked me if I actually believed that. I replied, “Yes, sir. That’s the miracle of it.”
That is the way I feel about it. Our whole strength rests on the validity of that vision. It either occurred or it did not occur. If it did not, then this work is a fraud. If it did, then it is the most important and wonderful work under the heavens.

Reflect upon it, my brethren and sisters. For centuries the heavens remained sealed. Good men and women, not a few—really great and wonderful people—tried to correct, strengthen, and improve their systems of worship and their body of doctrine. To them I pay honor and respect. How much better the world is because of their bold action. While I believe their work was inspired, it was not favored with the opening of the heavens, with the appearance of Deity.

Then in 1820 came that glorious manifestation in answer to the prayer of a boy who had read in his family Bible the words of James: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:5).

Upon that unique and wonderful experience stands the validity of this Church.

In all of recorded religious history there is nothing to compare with it. The New Testament recounts the baptism of Jesus when the voice of God was heard and the Holy Ghost descended in the form of a dove. At the Mount of Transfiguration, Peter, James, and John saw the Lord transfigured before them. They heard the voice of the Father, but they did not see Him.

Why did both the Father and the Son come to a boy, a mere lad? For one thing, they came to usher in the greatest gospel dispensation of all time, when all of previous dispensations should be gathered and brought together in one.

Can anyone doubt that the age in which we live is the most wonderful in the history of the world? There has been a marvelous flowering of science, of medicine, of communication, of transportation, unequaled in all the chronicles of mankind. Is it reasonable to submit that there should also be a flowering of spiritual knowledge as a part of this incomparable renaissance of light and understanding?

The instrument in this work of God was a boy whose mind was not cluttered by the philosophies of men. That mind was fresh and without schooling in the traditions of the day.

It is easy to see why people do not accept this account. It is almost beyond comprehension. And yet it is so reasonable. Those familiar with the Old Testament recognize the appearance of Jehovah to the prophets who lived in that comparatively simple time. Can they legitimately deny the need for an appearance of the God of heaven and His resurrected Son in this very complex period of the world’s history?

That They came, both of Them, that Joseph saw Them in Their resplendent glory, that They spoke to him and that he heard and recorded Their words—of these remarkable things we testify.

I knew a so-called intellectual who said the Church was trapped by its history. My response was that without that history we have nothing. The truth of that unique, singular, and remarkable event is the pivotal substance of our faith.

But this glorious vision was but the beginning of a series of manifestations that constitute the early history of this work.

As if that vision were not enough to certify to the personality and the reality of the Redeemer of mankind, there followed the coming forth of the Book of Mormon. Here is something that a man could hold in his hands, could “heft,” as it were. He could read it. He could pray about it, for it contained a promise that the Holy Ghost would declare its truth if that witness were sought in prayer.

This remarkable book stands as a testimonial to the living reality of the Son of God. The Bible declares that “in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established” (Matt. 18:16). The Bible, the testament of the Old World, is one witness. The Book of Mormon, the testament of the New World, is another witness.

I cannot understand why the Christian world does not accept this book. I would think they would be looking for anything and everything that would establish without question the reality and the divinity of the Savior of the world.

There followed the restoration of the priesthood—first, of the Aaronic under the hands of John the Baptist, who had baptized Jesus in Jordan.

Then came Peter, James, and John, Apostles of the Lord, who conferred in this age that which they had received under the hands of the Master with whom they walked, even “the keys of the kingdom of heaven,” with authority to bind in the heavens that which they bound on earth (see Matt. 16:19).

Subsequently came the bestowal of further priesthood keys under the hands of Moses, Elias, and Elijah.

Think of it, my brothers and sisters. Think of the wonder of it.

This is the restored Church of Jesus Christ. We as a people are Latter-day Saints. We testify that the heavens have been opened, that the curtains have been parted, that God has spoken, and that Jesus Christ has manifested Himself, followed by a bestowal of divine authority.

Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of this work, and it is built upon a “foundation of … apostles and prophets” (Eph. 2:20).

This wondrous Restoration should make of us a people of tolerance, of neighborliness, of appreciation and kindness toward others. We cannot be boastful. We cannot be proud. We can be thankful, as we must be. We can be humble, as we should be.

We love those of other churches. We work with them in good causes. We respect them. But we must never forget our roots. Those roots lie deep in the soil of the opening of this, the final dispensation, the dispensation of the fulness of times.

What an inspiration it has been to look into the faces of men and women across the world who carry in their hearts a solemn conviction of the truth of this foundation.

When it comes to divine authority, this is the sum and substance of the whole matter.

God be thanked for His marvelous bestowal of testimony, authority, and doctrine associated with this, the restored Church of Jesus Christ.

This must be our great and singular message to the world. We do not offer it with boasting. We testify in humility but with gravity and absolute sincerity. We invite all, the whole earth, to listen to this account and take measure of its truth. God bless us as those who believe in His divine manifestations and help us to extend knowledge of these great and marvelous occurrences to all who will listen. To these we say in a spirit of love, bring with you all that you have of good and truth which you have received from whatever source, and come and let us see if we may add to it. This invitation I extend to men and women everywhere with my solemn testimony that this work is true, for I know the truth of it by the power of the Holy Ghost. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Farewell iPod, I barely knew ye

That might be an exaggeration. I have gotten two very fulfilling years out of the lovely iPod nano I received as a Christmas gift a few years ago. However, our relationship was to be cut short when my little friend was misplaced (or so I thought) on Thursday of last week. Sadly, I found my little white nano outdoors and near my car, lying helplessly on the ground. The past month and a half of snow and freezing temperatures ensured that it had gotten wet, rendering it unceremoniously dead. Dear little nano, I loved you. You kept me company on my walks to school, long nights studying in the library, and some really good drives. Farewell, good friend, farewell.

Tagged!

Torrey, this is for you!!!

I was tagged weeks ago and have been slow in my response. It's really hard to think of 7 interesting facts about yourself! Be warned, I'm playing it fast and loose with the word interesting...

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.



1. I am a habitual driver.

When I need a little space, or time to think, or am even just bored I will always want to go on a drive. There’s something about being in constant motion and seeing a lot at once that is really relaxing to me. However, it can quickly become a time-consuming (not to mention expensive) habit; the last time I took off I ended up 90 miles from home. I generally forget that I eventually need to turn around and start heading back to wherever I’m coming from.



2. I would rather be hot than cold.

Seriously, there is very little in the world that makes me more agitated than being cold. Winter is one long ordeal to me and I don’t handle it like a trooper. If I had my way, I would "winter" in Florida and keep a heated blanket near me at all times. My theory is this: if you get too hot, you can always just sit for a minute and your temperature will balance. BUT – once you are cold you will stay cold until you manage to find a thermal sleeping bag or are cool with running in place while at school or work. Plus, cold hurts. Honestly, I feel bad for the people I am around all day because I complain constantly about the stupid snow and stupid ice and stupid wind and why can’t global warming start working like NOW because I am tired of being so damn cold all of the time.



3. I don’t talk on the phone without pacing.

I so dislike being on the phone that I usually take a walk to keep my body occupied while I chat. If I am indoors and it’s too cold or late to go outside I will literally walk back and forth in a straight line until I’m off the phone, at which point I am totally fine with sitting. People (who may find it maddening) have pointed this out to me on numerous occasions. So, if I seem distracted while talking with you on the phone please realize that I’m probably playing GPS in my head and thinking of a new route to take between my bed and closet door. Apologies.



4. I have a weird phobia about fish.

It’s not the actual creature that bothers me so much, but the fact that they reside in the same body of water all of the time. For example, I hate looking at the average-sized fish bowl because it grosses me out to think that anything will spend the better part of its life just swimming in it. I am most bothered by bowls/tanks that don’t have any lid or are open on top. Why is this, you ask? It is because I know that at some point when I am walking by it, the fishy will jump or splash or something and the water from that open container will end up in my mouth and I would rather be dead than have that happen, thank you very much.



5. I sleep with one of these at night:

I grind and clench my teeth so hard when I sleep that I have torn the ligaments in my jaw a few times as well as woken myself from the sound. So, I've had a sleeping mouth-guard thing since I was in junior high. I always feel like I'm playing dress up with werewolf or vampire teeth when I get ready for bed at night.



6. I am the most claustrophobic person you know.

It takes practically nothing for me to feel super-confined. I dress in layers so that I can ditch something easily and can’t stand the thought of socks (this may contribute to my temperature issues.) I never wear bracelets or rings and rarely wear necklaces. Turtlenecks need not apply. If it isn’t a flat or pump, I don’t want it near my feet. If there is too much clutter around I have a hard time focusing. I can’t sleep until I’ve washed any makeup off because my face feels like it’s suffocating otherwise. These neuroses are all on top of the obvious fact that I don’t like being in tight spaces with too many people. So, if I ever duck out while we’re somewhere that is too densely populated, don’t worry – I’ll be right back. I’m probably just out with my head between my knees, counting to ten, and searching for my normalcy.



7. I am just learning to ski.

Even though I spent almost all of my childhood in Utah, I haven’t had an active interest in skiing until this past year. I (read: my Dad) signed me up for a half-day lesson last winter in hopes that I could at least stop myself from crashing into other human beings on the mountain. On my first run down the big-kid hill, I had to have him literally pull me up from the ground at least four times. I think that that first run was the longest consecutive stream of profanity that I have ever heard in my life, and it came straight from my mouth. I’ve improved both my language and balance since then.



8. I was expelled from the seminary program twice in high school.

Not because I was rebellious, mind you, but because I couldn’t be bothered with consistently showing up. After many warning letters from the secretary to my home (and none-too-pleased parents) I would go through the process of getting my name back on the rolls and would then complete enough make-up work to pass. I don’t think I ever received lower than an A- grade in four years. The final irony was that I was asked to say a few words at the graduation ceremony during my last year; I have no idea what I said that didn’t get me sent straightaway to hell right then and there.


So there you have it. Some of the obscure I do so love. Get ready, because I tag:
Melissa, Sara, Sarah, Ashley, Kaylene, Tara, and whoever else would like to play!


PS - The last fact was just for fun - I consider myself a fraud in the church educational system. Sadly, my only teenage defiance...